“I can’t believe you’ve done this to me, Amy.”
“Done this to you. Derek, we did this together.”
“I thought you were on the pill. How could you? You know I’m trying for lieutenant. I can’t have you and a kid holding me back.”
Amy’s voice broke. “I didn’t know if you’d be excited about fatherhood, but I never dream—”
“Are you kidding? This couldn’t be worse. I can’t deal.” Derek stomped toward her apartment door. “Get rid of it, Amy.”
His truck’s tires squealed as he tore out of the lot. He slammed his fist against the stirring wheel. “Of all the stupid things. Why now when things are going great?”
“Hey man,”—Rob greeted Derek as he entered the firehouse the next day—“Stacy wants to plan dinner with you and Amy this weekend.”
“We’re done.”
“What?”
“It’s over.” Derek hadn’t heard from Amy. But even if she got rid of it, he couldn’t date a woman who would be so careless with his future.
“Man, I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll be praying for you.”
Derek moved to his bunk. Rob’s faith annoyed him. Rob always wanted to pray and kept asking Derek to church.
Laughter greeted him as he returned to the kitchen.
“Daddy, look what I made.” Andy’s kids were visiting again. His four-year-old son, Tyler, held up a Lego creation.
Derek left to check equipment in the bay. He didn’t need to see the happy family. It hit too close. Kids. They needed constant attention and care. He wanted to be free go out and blow off some steam with the guys.
Derek’s mind rattled. He couldn’t imagine his life chained down by a family and kids.
A tiny cry pulled Derek from washing the engine. A young woman stood at the opening to the bay. Her long stringy hair looked as unwashed as her tattered clothes.
“Can I help you?”
She offered him the baby in her hands.
Derek swallowed. Where was anyone else? Why him? “Are you surrendering your baby?”
She nodded with blood shot eyes, stepped forward, and pushed the child at him.
Derek lunged and snatched the infant before it fell from her quaking hands. “Okay, let me get the form.” Derek turned to collect the documents for safe surrenders. He glanced at the pink face wrapped in a t-shirt. The baby’s hand was out, fisted, and it quaked. Poor kid. To start out life addicted was brutal.
It’d been a month since he’d seen Amy. He didn’t know what she’d decided, but holding this baby brought all those thoughts of fatherhood back.
A car door closed and tires whined.
Derek whirled but the girl was gone. He cursed and turned toward the kitchen. He almost ran into Rob. “We’ve got a surrender, but the mother left before I could give her anything.” He tried to pass the kid off.
“He doesn’t look good.” Rob pointed to a clean table where Derek laid the new born. The shirt wrapped around him came off as he thrashed and wailed. The baby’s face reddened, and both fists trembled in the air. “Open your shirt.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s freezing and he needs skin to skin contact. I’ll drive to Mercy.”
Derek remembered the paramedics hadn’t returned from an earlier run yet. “I can drive.”
Rob lifted the squalling naked baby. “He’s not good, but he was fine with you a moment ago.”
Derek cradled the baby against his chest. “He should be in a carrier.”
“I’ll be careful.”
As they sped to the hospital a few miles away, the cold infant warmed and quieted. Derek could feel the tiny puffed breaths and the rapid heartrate against his skin. Maybe he should call Amy. What if she’d already had the procedure? He was a firefighter and trained to save life—like this little defenseless baby—but his own child?
They pulled in near the emergency bay, Derek stepped out and headed for the first nurse he came to. He needed to leave this kid before anymore emotions unsettled him.
The fire had already engulfed much of the home by the time Derek and the others arrived. As the crew worked to hook up hoses and take up positions, a man stumbled out of the front door. His shirt and hair were on fire and he carried a small child in the crook of his uninjured arm and an older girl on his hip wrapped in a blanket.
Derek and the others snatched up the children as their father dropped to his knees. Somehow Derek ended up with an infant in his hands again. Her sooty face was streaked by her tears.
“Are my girls okay?” the father sputtered as the paramedics placed him on a stretcher. “Check my girls,” he begged.
Derek went into burning buildings to save strangers—in protective gear, with oxygen. But to run through flames in a t-shirt and boxers to save his own children was a love Derek couldn’t comprehend.
Paramedic Dara, took the baby. “She’s been quiet,” he told her as Dara provided the infant oxygen.
A hose was shoved into his hands as his thoughts again drifted to Amy. Had it really been six months? Had she chosen to keep the baby, and did she love their child with this kind of depth?
Derek pulled up to the scene. Some drunk fool had left a holiday party and gotten on the freeway heading in the wrong direction. The two crumpled cars didn’t look like they held any survivors.
Rob stopped him before he could join those trying to peel back the roof of the victim’s car. “I’m sorry, Derek. It’s Amy. She didn’t make it. But we’re trying to get your daughter out.”
Derek braced himself on his knees. “How—?”
Rob’s hand rested on his back. “Stacy and I remained close to Amy. She joined us at church. We were there for her. Stacy was with her when she gave birth.”
He stood and leaned against the truck as his friends worked to extricate his child. “A daughter?”
“Faith Abigail Tucker. She was born three weeks ago.”
Amy had given his daughter his mother’s name and his name. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Amy asked us not to. She planned to introduce you, but she didn’t want to press, and thought it best to wait until after your promotion.”
He wandered to the paramedic rig as the car seat was sat on the gurney. A tiny knit Santa hat sat askew on Faith’s head. Big blue eyes, so much like Amy’s, looked up.
“How is she?” Rob asked when he couldn’t speak.
Dara smiled. “She’s perfect, but we’ll take her in to make sure.”
“Would you like to hold your daughter?” Rob asked.
A tear escaped as Derek nodded.
“She’s yours?” Dara asked.
Again, Derek nodded.
“I don’t want to remove her from the carrier until after a doctor has checked her, but you can ride with her.”
Faith Abigail Tucker woke with a little whimper as the sun rose. Derek picked up his daughter, pressed his forehead to hers, and drew in the scent of baby powder. “I’m so sorry I thought I never wanted you.” She squirmed and her fist rested against his cheek. It had been six hours since he’d learned of her existence. How could he adore her so quickly? “I’ll love you until my last breath, Faith.”
